Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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