Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
