So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She told me I should be a condom model.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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