we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
