why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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