I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
