Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
