yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
