at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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