Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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