There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
