There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
