i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
