brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
