Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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