PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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