you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
