i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
