if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I need to align my fucking chakras
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize