i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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