His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
