Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
