Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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