My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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