if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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