I CAN MOONWALK!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
