Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
