Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
