Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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