A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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