Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just cut my nipple shaving
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
