I got chris browned last night
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you had me at cake vodka
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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