Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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