Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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