I heard we made out
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
