yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
