Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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