Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
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11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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