Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
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When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize