It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I would ride that face into the sunset
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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