One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
