these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
