we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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