He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize