so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
