i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
