Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
