Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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