my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
