I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
