I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
