I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
