maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
