Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
