I'll bet she douches with gravy.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
