awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
