actually, I'm a sock model
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
