Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
