hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
