Jerry, you need to find god
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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