I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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